my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore

And cheating isnt an option either. If you feel that my wife never initiates physical contact, you may be wondering if your marriage is doomed. I found a wonderful woman gynecologist, and she put me on low dose hormone therapy. She is unhappy with your lack of hygiene, 12. I work, cook, clean, fix I dont drink or do any drugs. I was being shipped out to Vietnam and we both were afraid of losing eachother. So not only will your wife not want to touch you, but you probably wont want her to anymore. 20yrs old. We are all just CroMagnon reborn. Good luck. Now ASAP get a life please. Make time when you are both relaxed. I brought this up in premarital counseling. If you are tired of initiating intimacy and are concerned that my wife wont touch me sexually, youre not alone. If your wife avoids intimacy and this lack of intimacy is beginning to take a toll on your marital bliss, it is time to have an honest conversation with your spouse. I cannot hurt him. Tell her how much I love her. If you notice intimacy is fading from your marriage, heres what to do when your wife wont touch you. Even if he cant accept the divorce is coming!!! Figures, right? Research shows that sexual communication was. Introspect a little and see how invested you are in her pleasure. Like Nike says, just do it. What to do about it: Make time to emotionally connect with each other and rekindle your soul connection. I wish I could be fulfilled without sex, like many women as they age. If your wife is avoiding sex, the emotional connect is missing, 5. 2009 - 2023 MindBodyGreen LLC. So when your wife seems to frequently push you away and demonstrates through her words or actions that she has no interest in making love with you, this behavior is usually caused by a one or more triggering events. You're focusing too much on just the sexual aspect of . So selfish and controlling . Hes had issues with porn for a long time. My (50m) wife (48f) and I had a great sexual relationship for most of our marriage. I demonstrate my love for her in so many ways, little notes, letters, flowers messages in song, other women including young women I work with say they would love to have someone who loves and respects their partner and relationship like I do. I felt like she just gave me away to anyone emotionally and physically. There are ways to maintain physical intimacy while someone undergoes treatment for ED. The reasons behind why a wife avoids physical contact can range from marital discord to just being burned out, says Gopa. Is like 5 times a year.! But in practice, no one is equal. I ruled our marriage & family and still do. Every new relationship begins with a promise of love, intimacy and affection. As a kid I grew up without Christmas or birthdays. I did some self searching and recognized that the marriage had been one of convenience and the love wasnt there for me. Your situation is my situation ! 5. In some cases, this can escalate intopostpartum depression, which is a common reason why many women experience a lack of sexual desire after childbirth. There's nothing wrong with the lower-libido partnerthey simply just don't want sex as often as the other person. As I explained before on seniorplanet.org, spontaneous desire just happens, while responsive desire only happens after a womans body starts getting aroused. Could I just ask the question? 4 Things to Teach Your Kids to Stand Up For, 5 Things Teens Need But Wont Ever Ask For, 4 Things You Can Do When Youre Not in the Mood, 20 Great Conversation Starters for Great Marriages. This could be a reason why your wife avoids sex. She would still complain of pain. First few years sex was great. I cannot believe that is wasnt suggested that the LWs wife work with a functional doctor who can work with plant based bio identical hormones that can probably increase her desire. 10 years of this and going on5 years since last try, dont sleep in same be, snoring medical issues up down. She started the menopause change about 3 years ago, however sex prior to that was maybe every few months for probably 7 years. Yeah. Virtually every woman Ive been with, and there werent that many, experienced a lot of discomfort with me penetrating them no matter how gentle and slow I took it, with or without lube, and regardless of how excited they were). You can be in a marriage without sex. You cant really blame her, can you? He started blaming his medication but when I checked that out he moved on to another excuse. Im so confused. If I was younger, much younger I would have more options. Makes me feel worth lessnot worthless.worth. We love them. It is not fair that I have to take care of it by myself! Im not really sure if you can put any one word to it. I am beginning to think that we are supposed to get old. It literally changed our lives. At least between us. You need to know. For me, its been 8x in 3 yearsand Ive tried talking about it with him as frequency has dwindled to essentially nothing. Im 47 and this happened to me. Youre describing my dilemma to a tee. Research published by the National Marriage Project found that couples who make time for date night experience benefits, such as, , improved communication skills, and injecting excitement and. Does your wife deal with mental health struggles or clinical depression? He got the pill from the dr, but with his weight and age, I was just too scared for him to try it. There is a lot more going on there. Reaching orgasm can become difficult or seem impossible.". I almost wish I were. I get it and don't want to add to her stress. All I can say that my sexual desire was immediately and irreversibly shut off like a light switch. I certainly feel your pain and utter frustration. I have respected all she has asked and continue to do all I can to let her know I love and adore her. Our marriage was sexless because I couldnt perform so we started seeing various kinds of Therapists but after 5 years we had no luck. When I say intimacy, I do not mean just intercourse. Should they swallow it just to make you feel good? So I disagree when people say leave the marriage as soon as the sex stops. I dont know where to start. Why waste your money and time on hookerd? Because I have no suggestions as to how to change things. That lie: its not important, only if you want it. I say bullshit to every man and women experiencing no sex in a relationship if they want it with their partner. Once youre accustomed to porn, youve trained your brain to need it. If theyve been fighting the whole day, physical intimacy is the last thing on their mind. So sorry to read this Pamela, Im in the same boat with my lovely wife, terribly depressing. During our engagement I made it crystal clear that my sex drive was high & she was the perfect woman to relieve it. .! Christi do us a favor and explain what you are talking about. Nope no sex. Think back to the time when you were dating. Peter: she wouldnt interest you shes like me now old, cranky, take pills and fat. It is possible that a lack of sex may have shifted your focus on physical intimacy whereas a lack of emotional intimacy may be driving your wife away from the idea of sex. If your wife never initiates sex, its time to bring out your inner charmer and start romancing your wife. I feel I am too old to move on by myself, most everything in our relationship is good, but sex is very bad. Life is complicated at every age but I think as people age, hormone levels drop of course and the baggage of decades gone by begins to weigh heavy on both parties. Good luck to you all and hope the juices start flowing soon for those that feel deprived. Recently, he has been distant unloving and disrespectful towards me. Dont worry about having sex for a long time. I hope to eventually meet another same sex partner willing to take her time and see what works. Thomas, I agree! But to then take into account the Catholic Churchs stance on that interjects another sticking point, if I may use that term. He shows no interest or emotional desire to engage in sex or affection. Honor us with attention and physical contact. My wife will listen to my concerns about sex, but will not take hormone supplementation because of the science which indicates it can cause cancer in rare cases. I feel like its just my life now. Discuss it with her: Share this iMOM article with your wife and discuss it: 4 Things You Can Do When Youre Not in the Mood. When the support isnt there, the emotional intimacy and the physical intimacy are going to suffer. As for porn, I dont mind it at all when he watches it (though he thinks I never see him), after all, we are all human and have drives and needs. One of the top sexual concerns women have is feeling self-conscious about their own bodies during sex. Youre not alone. Divorce isnt either Im not ever going to hurt her. Seriously? Am I doomed? Females are elevated to the superior status of the male they pair with the reverse is not true receive the protection and provisioning of that male, and enjoy the primary bond with the children. There is simply no point in brushing the problem under the carpet. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Join us online to gain access to exclusive benefits and opportunities only for Senior Planet Supporters! Dont kid yourself, she still understands a mans needs. So, get your act together, start showering in the evenings, put on some cologne for her and, most importantly, keep things well groomed and hygienic down there. I felt rejected at times, but I learned that what postpartum moms go through physically and emotionally is intense. At 45 years old I met this man One of you simply wants sex more often than the other does. Your wife may have become so involved in raising the kids that her relationship with you takes a backseat. You ever think about getting some on the side? I am a 52 year old woman who has had a hysterectomy and has gone through menopause and I have always had a high libido and still do. Women arent suitable for long term monogamy. A sexologist is not going to be able to overcome a lack or imbalance of hormones. I just had to click on this to see how times have changed. After my wife lost interest, I told her that we either opened our marriage or divorced. Remember what you felt, believed, and why. I wouldnt even care if he watched or joined. I lve my wife more now then when we got married. We had sex once last year and it had been a while prior to that, but she told me that due to the pain and all, she doesnt want to do it any more. If I threw a fit, she would allow it but Buck is correct, who wants to have sex with someone who is repulsed by the act of sex. Each year for three years, she assured me she would seek help from a wholistic doctor, which never happened. If you have always been the one to initiate intimacy in your relationship, take a step back and tell her how sexy you think it would be for her to be the one to reach out. Semi handsome for an old guy. My first wife and I married when we were 21. I read the frustration and despair in your story and I thank you for being willing to share it here. If you think Im going to live the rest of my life without sex your absolutely out of your mind. I understand, Im in the same position, although not as long of a time period without sex. I think it was a relief for him because he was not much into sex. Try a new sexual position, make more of an effort to engage in foreplay, or introduce new outfits or props into your sex life. I dont clean enough, cook enough, keep on top of appointments, follow his assignments since youre retired now, you can do and I get assignments. Do you feel my wife never initiates intimacy? If your wife wont have sex, it could be that she just doesnt feel close to you anymore, and the idea of being intimate makes her feel too vulnerable. I always ask if Im doing the right things and she says yes. It has been years since my wife and I have had sex. Should I let him go elsewhere? how do i tell him that in this life, especially for them both, there is more to life than just sex. Seems like you do not really love your husband any more. Makes me happy Im not married. The less stressed she is, the more free space she has in her mind to devote to all things naughty. On fantasy world would be 24/7! Related Reading: How Do You Deal With A Quarrelsome Wife? Let him know, with passion and love, that you miss *that* him . Share your feelings with your wife openly, honestly, and vulnerably without expecting it to lead to something physical. I rest my case. Dont you dare accuse all men of being selfish and unhelpful. He is a selfish person he is only thinking of himself. But, and hopefully it is, if you still connect at that level in any way, please do so. What shes done to me all these years was downright evil ! If you deny one you put a wall around the other. If he wont go, go on your own to express your feelings fully and evaluate whether you want to be in this marriage and, if so, what can be done to improve it. Thats why were looking at the most common reasons why your wife is never in the mood anymore and what you can do if your wife refuses to have sex. Ask if there is something you can do to make sex more enjoyable for her. But at 50 she started to loose interest and dry up. Having sex will actually help you physically and can add years to your life. Not the husband its always the mom. Too much trouble. I am 53 and my wife is 55. I like to think there is hope but unsure. Im in ok shape, not overweight . Hmmm. Be loving. 19. When you choose not to accept/care/act on it year after year, our desire disappears. It isnt about the phone or computer. Weve been married for 26 years, she is 51, and she has had maybe 4 years total where she was interested in sex. Yow..I am a 32 year sober alcoholic and thought I had a slight case of ED..but the mens clinics determined thats not the case..its the flat and lifeless attitude I am getting from my wife that kind of keeps things limp. I completely recovered and had to start my own business to share in the household expenses. If theres no intimacy in your marriage from your wife and youve realized that she may be suffering through mental health issues, Bonobologys panel of experienced therapists can help guide your partner through this turbulent time, and perhaps re-establish the harmonious relationship you yearn for. Sex should be mutually inclusive. Shes always saying how bad she feels about it but but never offers to do anything. (You might want to share with her an excellent resource about responsive desire, Emily Nagoskis book Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life.). Its only going to get worse. My wife and I now both sleep with settled stomachs (and I dont wake hungry in the night). My 20 year marriage imploded because my husband completely lost his testosterone at age 55. Were a distinctive, diverse collection of people aged 60 and older who are busy changing the way we age by embracing opportunities to reshape our lives, connect with and help one another, and change the world for the better all while learning, growing, and having fun! Rich B, I am 64 and my wife has withheld sex with me for the the last 5 years. This put stress on things as did a lack of acceptance from my mother, to my Wife, until she died at 97. I am 55, my husband is 59. Here's her full guide to overcoming the sexual avoidance cycle, plus how to support a lower-libido partner. So as partners age, sometimes we have to stop asking for what is too painful for them to give. My wife and me have been married 9 1/2 years and entered a phas of no sex about 6 months ago. * THE SECTION BELOW TO INSERT DYNAMIC VALUES FROM YOUR For example, depression, as well as the medication used to manage it, can take a toll on ones libido. Keep it as quick as I can at 41 I had neck surgery, nothing below waist working very well, had penis pump install, went from 6 to 3 (maybe) tip flops around cant penetrate vagina.she at time started Menopause and wasnt really interested anyway. Once youre accustomed to porn, youve trained your brain to need it. I know we are very different people and and I am not trying to change her as much as letting her know the effects of being so distant and often dismissing my feelings yet I have to be totally responsive to her to keep her happy. I am afraid Buck is correct. The precursor for any affair is emotional intimacy, says Gopa. A person wants to, and intends to, stay faithful to their spouse in a sexless marriage and be a good Catholic at the same time is faced with, what seems to me, a no win situation. I love him and still desire him (even though he lost his hair and gained a gut!!) If 2 people really love love,then they will find ways to please each other. I dont masturbate much because I would prefer to be with her. That can happen because of a lack of communication, a lack of understanding or just misinterpreting what their spouse is thinking. 10 years of this and going on5 years since last try, dont sleep in same be, snoring medical issues up down. Sh. Demetria, so how old are you now? My wife is 61 and Im 57. We cant really talk about it because the very subject causes her great depression because she feels like its all her fault and that she is failure as a lover.